I Don’t Work Here Needs To Pee Here

(My wife and I go into a grocery store with our kids for some shopping.)

Me: “I gotta pee so bad. I wish I didn’t have to pee so bad. I’m going to find the can.”

(I rush to the back of store to find the washroom locked with a sign, “key at cash.”)

Me: *curses*

(I turn around and speed-walk to the front of the store to the cashier. On the way, I see a lady standing at the end of the aisle looking directly at me.)

Me: *in my head, to myself* “Ah, a sample lady. I suppose I can hold my pee for a sample.”

Lady: “Hi!”

Me: “Hi!”

(We stare at each other expectantly for five seconds.)

Me: “I… uhh… Don’t work here?”

Lady: “Oh! You looked so official and purposeful coming down the aisle I figured you were the manager.”

(I guess managers look like they have to pee all the time.)