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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 42

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2021

I’m dressed in a decent suit and shirt, and my ID has my company logo clearly displayed. I look nothing like the staff who wear polo shirts. I’m looking at a shelf, trying to choose between two products. I’m running on very little sleep — our baby isn’t sleeping and I’m still working long shifts — when I hear a shrill noise.

Customer: “Excuse me!”

It’s a shrill bark; clearly, she is annoyed. I don’t feel like engaging, so without looking up, I move closer to the shelf to let her through.

Customer: “Excuse me!” *Huffs* “Can I get some service, please?!

She spits the word “please” full of sarcasm and bile.

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Where are the rain protectors? And don’t ‘what’ me. You people are all the same: lazy and ignorant. I want service now!

Me: “I’ll ‘what’ whoever the h*** I like. And I don’t know where the rain covers are. Ask someone who actually works here.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know you didn’t work here? Idiot.”

Me: “I don’t know, a brain? Some sort of basic comprehension skills? I clearly don’t work here, which is just as well because they couldn’t tell you to f*** off!”

Customer: “Well, I never! How rude! I’m going to get you fired for this!”

Me: “I still don’t work here. Didn’t get hired in the last twenty seconds.”

She manages to find a manager; he explains over and over again that he could kick me out but she would have to leave, too. This seems to make her more and more agitated.

Me: “Actually, I was about to pay for this and leave anyway.”

Manager: “Thank you. And you, miss?”

Customer: “What?”

Manager: “Are you buying anything today?”

Customer: “Well, no.”

Manager: “Then can you please leave the store?”

Customer: “You’re kicking me out?! I will call the head office; I will call the paper!”

I paid and left but hung around long enough to hopefully see the police called. Unfortunately, the store security led her out screaming, shouting, and swearing the whole way.

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 41
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 40
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 39
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 38
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 37