I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3

(I am a customer.)

Fellow Customer: *heavily accented* “Excuse me. Where are the pipe cleaners?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I don’t work here. I have no idea.”

(He moves off to meet with two others, who have a conversation. I move on, when another from the group approaches me.)

Fellow Customer #2: “Hi. Where are your pipe cleaners?”

Me: “I don’t know. I don’t work here.”

Fellow Customer #2: “Oh.” *long pause* “I want green ones.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I meant I don’t work here. I’m also shopping.”

(He walks back to his group, who have another hushed conversation. The third person comes over. By now, a fourth customer is watching with amusement.)

Fellow Customer #3: “I’m sorry, they’re new to America and don’t follow much English.”

Me: “That’s all right.”

Fellow Customer #3: “We can’t find those long green–”

Me: “No, I don’t work here. I’m just shopping here, too.”

Fellow Customer #3: “Oh, all right. You just seemed to know where you were going. Sorry to bother you.”

(He and his friends leave to find someone in the dark blue of the store’s uniform.)

Other Customer: “Wow. Took them long enough!”

Me: *laughing a little* “Yeah, I guess I’m still in work-mode.”

Other Customer: “So, where is your yarn?”

This story is part of our Bad-Listener Customers roundup!

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