I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

, | Right | July 7, 2016

(My boyfriend and I are at a shoe store finding new sneakers for me. He is a police officer and is wearing one of his many shirts from the department.)

Me: “So anyway, what color looks better? The blue or the green?”

Boyfriend: “I like the blue.”

Customer: *seeming to randomly shout at us* “I NEED THESE IN A 7½!”

(We both look at a blonde-haired female pointing at the newest shoes.)

Boyfriend: “What?”

Customer: “Are you deaf? I WANT A 7½!”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! JUST GET THESE FOR ME IN A 7½!”

Boyfriend: “Are you serious?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU A F****** DUMB A**? GET ME MY SHOES!”

Boyfriend: *pointing at his obviously police related shirt* “You seriously think I work here?”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU BE IN A SHOE STORE IF YOU DIDN’T F***** WORK HERE?!”

Me: “Then why are you here?”

(By this point two sales associates have shown up and are trying to figure out what to say.)

Sales Associate: *wearing a very obviously different shirt than my boyfriend* “What’s the problem?”

Boyfriend: “She—“

Customer: “YOUR STUPID GUY OVER HERE WON’T GET ME SHOES!”

Sales Associate: “He doesn’t even work here. Can I get something for you?”

Customer: “WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE F***** TELL ME HE DIDN’T WORK HERE?!”

Me: “We tried, but I didn’t think you were as stupid as you really are. Apparently their shirts don’t tell you SOMETHING?”

Customer: “This is the worst service I’ve ever f****** had! F*** you guys.”

(The customer storms out.)

Me: “Soooooo…”

Boyfriend: “So, yes, sir. I’d still like to buy these shoes for my girlfriend.”

 

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