I Don’t Work Here, But I’m Confident As Heck!

My wife and I are shopping in a large chain store where almost every store is set out the same way, with the departments all in the same order. So, if you shop there regularly, like me, you quickly learn your way around the store, even if it’s a [Store] you’ve never been to before. The only difference is that occasionally the store layout is flipped, like a mirror image of the usual layout.

We’re looking for a few things, including a specific vase we want. This isn’t our usual [Store], and it is pretty busy, being Sunday afternoon, so my wife is a little turned around and getting a bit flustered.

Wife: “Hang on, we need to find the vases. I’m not sure where they are.”

Me: “Follow me; it’s this way.”

I start walking in the right direction.

Wife: “Are you sure? I think we’ve already passed them!”

Me: *Calling over my shoulder* “I know where I’m going!”

Sweet Old Lady: “Oh, if you know where you’re going, you might know where I need to go, then!”

I stop in my tracks and laugh, mostly at myself because I realise I am being kind of loud and probably obnoxious. My wife laughs at me, too.

Me: “Of course, I’ll help. What are you looking for?”

Sweet Old Lady: “Do you know where the hangers are?”

Wife: “Oh, I do! We just passed them!”

My wife then ran back to the row with the hangers and gestured grandly. The sweet old lady thanked us and said something like, “I know you don’t work here, but I was a bit lost, and since you seemed so confident, I thought I’d ask you for help.”

She got her hangers and we parted ways. Sadly, they didn’t have the vase we wanted in stock.