I Don’t Think She Knows What A Refund Is  

(Our cafe has fake succulents displayed on the tables. One day, we realize that some have gone missing, but we don’t really think too much of it until one day a lady comes in, fuming.)

Lady: “I demand a refund! You sold me defective goods!”

(She slams a pot of succulents on the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but this is a cafe; we do not sell—”

Lady: “Oh, shut up! I took these plants from here two weeks ago and I just found out they’re fake! This is unacceptable!”

Me: *pause* “You took these from us?”

Lady: “Yes, I’m a customer and you ripped me off! Get me your manager. I want a refund!”

Me: “Ma’am, these fake plants are our decoration. They’re not for sale. You just admitted you stole these from us.”

Lady: “REFUND!”

(She threw the pot at me, soil and fake succulents and all, and stormed out. We never heard from her again.)