I Didn’t Order These Accusations, Either

Yesterday, I decided I wanted [Fast Food Chain]. I typically order on the app because it makes it easier to get everything right. If you’ve used the app or any app before, you know that all you do is order, pay, and drive there to pick it up.

I ordered my heavily modified combo box as usual. (I kid; it usually is no lettuce or tomatoes, add beans, etc.) My wife ordered two things, as well. I drove down the road for five minutes, got in the drive-thru line, and pulled up to the ordering kiosk.

Me: “I have a mobile order for Nathan.”

Employee #1: “Okay. Just come to the window.”

I went to the window, and one of the guys stared at me through the window for a minute. When he finally opened it:

Employee #1: “Steve?”

Me: “No. It’s Nathan.”

Employee #1: “Oh. Okay. Here.”

He handed me my drink.

Employee #1: “Your food will be out soon. Have you already paid for it?”

Me: *Politely* “Yes. That’s how the app works as far as I know.”

Employee #1: “I’m sorry, but I’m new.”

Me: “Yeah, no worries. You’ll get it.”

And he disappeared back into the window. A few minutes later, a different guy came to the window and silently and sternly handed me a bag of food.

Employee #2: “Here you go.”

Me: “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

Because I’m me, and because I have food allergies, I immediately pulled over to check the bag. And it was a good thing I did because every single item was wrong — not “wrong” as in made incorrectly but “wrong” as in a completely different order. None of the items in the bag were correct except for some nacho fries. I figured, “Okay. No problem. I’ll just go inside and tell them.”

So, I went inside and spoke to the guy behind the counter.

Me: “Hey, man. I don’t think a single thing in here is right. I don’t think this is my order.”

Employee #3: “Wait… What was the name on the order?”

Me: “It’s Nathan.”

Employee #3: “Okay.”

And he walked off. The manager walked up and ripped his gloves off angrily.

Manager: “I’m sorry, what did you say the order name was?”

Me: “It was Nathan.”

Manager: “And what was the problem?”

Me: “Well, none of the items in the bag are what I ordered.”

Manager: *In an accusing voice* “I haven’t even started making Nathan yet!”

Me: “Okay? Well—”

Manager: “So, you just grabbed somebody’s order off the counter?”

Me: *Squinting* “What? No. I—”

Manager: “Did they even call your name before you took the bag?”

Me: “No. I didn’t get this from inside—”

Manager: “Then where did you get it from?!”

Me: *Pointing* “The drive-thru… They gave me my drink, and then they gave me a bag of food after a while.”

The manager was still angry at me for some reason.

Manager: “Well, I haven’t even started making Nathan yet!”

Me: “Yes. You mentioned that. But I didn’t hand myself the food, sir.”

Manager: “Well then, who gave it to you?!”

The two guys from the window stared at me from far off behind him, terrified.

Me: “Dude… I have partial face blindness. I have no idea who gave it to me. All I know is that someone at the window gave me a drink, and someone else gave me a bag of food.”

Manager: “Well, all I’m saying is that I haven’t even started making Nathan yet.”

Me: “That’s… great… I can wait at the counter for you to make my food.”

He walked away. After a few minutes, he returned, clearly still thinking I had some kind of master plant to screw over my local [Fast Food Chain].

Manager: “Here is your food.”

Me: *Thoroughly done with the night* “I appreciate it…”

…whatever this was.

Editors’ Note: Special thanks to Growing Up Autie – A Comic By Nathan McConnell for this story!