I Dated Dr. Nick

Woman: “I’m looking for a surgeon called [Name]. He’ll be off shift soon. But I’m not sure where he would be around here.”

Me: “Sure, hang on.” *checks database* “I’m sorry, what was his name again?”

Woman: *says name*

Me: “It seems we don’t have a surgeon, or any employee with that name.”

Woman: “I’m sorry, are you new? He’s been my boyfriend for half a year and he’s worked here for three years. We are going on a date after his shift and I decided to surprise him by meeting him here instead.”

Me: *checks database again* “I’m sorry, we have no one by that name. Are you sure this is the right hospital?”

Woman: “Yes, I’ve been to his home down the hill. He said he walks up the hill to work. This is the only hospital that’s here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

Woman: “Hmph! You’re useless.” *stalks off*

(She comes back 15 minutes later.)

Woman: “Well, you just ruined my life. I called him and he said he just got off shift. I told him I’d be right here waiting for him and he got scared. Apparently he’s not even a surgeon. I can’t believe he lied to me!”