I Could Go Agamemnon And On

(I have been telling my family that I did not want kids – ever. My mum keeps trying to change my mind by telling how wonderful children are. Finally, I get fed up, and try a new tactic.)

Mum: “Children are the biggest blessing from God.”

Me: “Yeah, so I want two sons. I’ve even picked out names for them.”

Mum: “Wonderful! What will you name them?”

Me: “Melchizedek and Nebuchadnezzar.”

Mum: “What?!”

Brother: *laughing* “By the time they write their names on the exam paper, the exam will be over!”

Me: “What? They’re biblical, majestic names! Names of kings in the Bible!”

Mum: “If that’s what you’re going to call your poor children, you better not have any.”

(And that’s the last I’ve heard from my mum about having kids.)