I Can Thieve Clearly Now

Customer: “I need to bring back these reading glasses. They’re broken.”

Me: “Okay, do you have the receipt for them?”

(The customer hands me a receipt from nine months earlier.)

Me: “This receipt is a little past our thirty-day return policy. May I have a look at the glasses?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, they’re clearly broken, and I never used them, so you need to make an exception for me.”

(I see that the glasses have clearly had the packaging removed and haphazardly put back on. They also have grease marks all over the lenses.)

Me: “Okay, well, I can’t take these back for a number of reasons: They were bought nine months ago, we don’t carry this style anymore, and they have been clearly opened and used.”

Customer: “No, they’re not used! You can’t get that package back on them!”

Me: “It’s tricky, but you can get it back on. I’ve had to re-package them on a few occasions.”

Customer: “NO, YOU CAN’T! I HAD A HARD ENOUGH TIME GETTING THE PACKAGE OFF!”

Me: “…”

(The customer realized what they just said, then turned and sheepishly walked out.)

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