I Can Haz Relationship

(At work, we use an Instant Messaging service to communicate with one another besides verbal talk. I have just shared a heated exchange with a coworker over a grave mistake I created. I run to the bathroom in tears, and return less than pleased with him. Upon sitting down, I see he has messaged me.)

Coworker: “Wanna do some numbers for me?”

Me: “Okay.”

Coworker: “[Order number], I think this oen mgiht b fraud.”

Me: “…You misspelled one and might.”

Coworker: “Oops. Anyway, [order number], thsi mihtg be fraud too. might* Tis*. I mean thi*. THIS*****. D*** typos!”

Me: “…Really?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “You know I’m an English major.”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you?”

Coworker: “…Maybe.”

Me: “Why are you butchering my language to pieces?”

Coworker: “Becuz I haz bestest grammarz evaarr!1”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “I do it just for you. Always. <3"