I Am Not Trying To Seduce You

, , , , | Learning | March 2, 2021

I am at a week-long international tech workshop at a campus with an onsite cafe and no other eating within walking distance. We are all nerds but not completely without social skills, so about six of the guys decide to go to the cafe together and get to know each other. The international students want to practice their English, and there are French and Chinese students next to me trying to show off a bit.

Chinese Student: “Good afternoon, gentlemen. It is a pleasure to have lunch with you.”

French Student: “Very nice, but I want to sound cool like American movies. How would I greet a friend?”

Me: “Well, you could say, ‘hello,’ ‘hi,’ or, ‘hey,’ before their name.” 

Chinese Student: “‘Hey’ does sound cool.”

The server comes up right then.

Server: “Hi! My name is Macarena. What can I get you guys today?”

The French student speaks enthusiastically with their song-like French accent.

French Student: “Hey, Macarena!”

The server does not look pleased, the French student is confused, and the Chinese student is laughing so hard he is having trouble talking.

Chinese Student: *To me* “You did not tell him the rules!”

Me: *To [French Student]* “You can say, ‘hey,’ to any of your friends… unless her name is Macarena.”

French Student: “Why?”

The Chinese student started doing the dance, and even Macarena started laughing at how ridiculous it was. For the rest of the week, the French student greeted her with, “Helllloooo, Macarena!” while she stared at him before laughing.

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