I Am (Not) Sick Of All The Attention

(I work in the accident and emergency department of a hospital. It’s a Friday night, and Girl #1 has just come in with anaphylaxis. I am with Girl #2 at this point, who came in via ambulance.)

Girl #2: “My friend [Girl #1] is here at the moment, and everyone was fussing over her so much! She’s fine, right?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know; I haven’t seen her.”

Girl #2: “I know she’s fine. Everyone is making such a big deal out of this. That’s why I called the ambulance. She can’t get all the attention to herself!”

Me: *confused* “Wait, what? So there’s nothing wrong with you? Why are you here?”

Girl #2: “But can you make it sound like I’m really ill? I need to be able to trump her!”