Hunting Wild Mushroom

, , , , , | Related | April 1, 2019

(My sister and I to go to a popular diner. It’s primarily a burger place, but I don’t eat red meat, so I’m careful about reading if I can replace beef patties with veggie patties, etc. The waiter comes to take my order.)

Me: “Can I please have the mushroom burger?”

Waiter: “You know that burger has no meat, right?”

Me: “Yup, that’s why I’m getting it. That will be all for me, thanks.”

(The waiter moves down the table and my sister turns to me with a look of confusion.)

Sister: “Wait, but mushrooms are a meat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Sister: “Mushrooms are a meat!”

Me: “No. No, they are not.”

Sister: “If they’re not meat, then what are they?”

Me: “A fungus?”

(My sister sits for a minute, thinking, while I and the other girls who heard her stare at her in confusion.)

Sister: “Oh, yeah. They are a fungus, aren’t they?”

(Turns out she briefly thought mushrooms were an animal, and she thought I was breaking my four-year-long pescatarian diet.)

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