How We Know That Pokémon Has Taken Over Your Relationship

| | Romantic | September 5, 2016
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Nintendo having been creating ‘widows’ for as long as they have been creating videogames. The times, however, are a changin’. No longer is the gaming world of the teenage male and the mid-life crisis husband, indeed, all are now welcome (as they should always have been) to enjoy the exploits of Mario, Nathan Drake, Lara, or whoever you decide to let loose upon the latest Grand Theft Auto.

But now, we have something different; scores of you are engaging in the great Pokémon hunt, and for some of your, its a matter of love and death:

Collected here are some of our favorite Pokémon Go inspired stories sent into Not Always Romantic:

 

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#1:

(Pokémon Go has been out for a few days and my husband and I have already been on a few “Poké Dates” where we go out and hunt together. We’re discussing going out on another one when I spot the shadow of a Pokémon I don’t have yet.)

Me: “OH, MY GOD! A KOFFING!”

(I go barreling down the stairs, throwing on one of his t-shirts. As the door shuts behind me I hear my husband.)

Husband: “Is the date starting now?”

 

#2:

(This is our first Pokémon Go date and my boyfriend is excited because I am now a high enough level to join a team. He is currently dragging me by hand to the nearest gym to do so.)

Boyfriend: “Come this way so you can join Team [X]. All others are the enemy!”

Me: “So, I take it you don’t want me on a different team than you?”

Boyfriend: “No!”

Me: “But what if I end up choosing a different team?”

Boyfriend: *in a very firm voice* “Then we would have to break up.”

(We are still together, so I guess I chose right!)

 

#3:

(My new husband and I started playing Pokémon Go together, but due to server and battery issues, he has gotten more than me. One day while he’s at work, I run some errands and get side-tracked playing.)

Me: “Will you try to divorce me if I tell you I got a Pikachu, Ponyta, and a Meowth this morning?”

Husband: “You’re being served shortly.”

Me: “Awww… would going up to [butte in the middle of town] together to watch the sunset help?”

(Pause.)

Me: “Because there’s no way I can take that Flareon myself but we could totally get a gym for blue together.”

 

#4:

(My boyfriend and I work in different departments of the same place. On a night we are both closing, I finish my closing tasks before he does, so I go to sit and wait for him. I open up the new Pokémon Go game and see something.)

Me: “Babe! There’s a Squirtle outside! I’m gonna go walk around the building to see if I can find it!”

Boyfriend: “Here, I don’t have one yet. Take my phone, too!”

(Our manager couldn’t stop laughing at us.)

 

#5:

Wife: “Thanks for playing Pokémon with me.”

Me: “Thanks for playing poke-a-wife with me.”

 

#6:

(My wife is playing a certain augmented-reality game, and I am trying to talk to her. She objects:)

Wife: “I can’t concentrate right now. There’s a bat in the house making noises.”

Me: “A bat.”

Wife: “Yes. It’s on [Baby]’s diaper.”

Me: “You know, ten years ago they called that schizophrenia.”

(Later, while I was typing this in and showing it to her…)

Wife: “Wonderful. Wonderful. Laugh at your wife. It was making noises!”

 

Remember to share with your Pokémon Go loving friends, and that we have a large selection of Pokémon themed romantic stories right here!

Like our Pokemon themed roundup? Check out the other site’s Pokemon roundups here!

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