How We Know That Pokémon Has Taken Over Your Life

| | Right | September 5, 2016
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Scores of you are engaging in the great Pokémon hunt, and for some of you, it’s a matter of life and death:

Collected here are some of our favorite Pokémon and Pokémon Go inspired stories sent into Not Always Right:

#1:

Me: “Excuse me, do you need help?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Would you happen to know what a good game for a seven year old boy? I need a present for my grandson.”

Me: “Well, you could always go with a classic Mario or Pokémon game.”

Customer: “Well, what are those about?”

(I give a very general description, explaining the basics of the concepts since she was obviously new to video games.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Those sound very violent to me.”

Me: “Well, they’re very popular games, especially among young boys.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “No, I think those games are too violent. I’ll just get him this one.”

(She picks up the latest Hannah Montana game for the DS and walks off.)

 

#2:

(I am helping a man at the fish department when this happens.)

Customer: “So, goldfish evolve into koi when they outgrow their tank…”

(I look at him waiting for him to say he’s joking, but he’s completely serious.)

Me: “It’s a fish, sir, not a pokémon.”

 

#3:

(I am helping a male customer who’s encountered an odd glitch on an old copy of Pokemon Platinum.)

Customer: “Yesterday, I was near collecting all the available ‘mon’ on this version. Now I turned it on today and they’ve all disappeared except for four! You sold me a faulty game!”

(I turn his DS on and check his save file. Sure enough, his inventory is empty save for ‘Starly’, a ‘Turtwig’ and an ‘Piplup’.)

Me: “Hmmm, that is… incredibly strange. Umm, let me see if there’s a way to run a BIO on this.”

Customer: “You’d better! And you d*** better find a way to get all my Pokemon back! I spent months getting them all, and now they’re gone because you sold me a glitched piece of s***!”

(I hustle to the back, explaining what’s happened to our resident tech. He’s just as stumped as to how this could’ve happened so we both spend a moment or so trying to figure out what’s gone wrong with the game. Finally, however, I notice something that’s odd: both ‘Turtwig’ and ‘Piplup’ are starter Pokemon, which are given to you when you start a new game. Typically you’re only allowed one of these so it should be impossible for them to both be on the same save file… unless this customer traded for the other with someone.)

Me: “Sir, do you know anyone else who plays this game as well?”

Customer: “What? Well, yes my son plays it with me all the time.”

(I explain the above to him, and he noticeably calms down.)

Customer: “I see. Could you excuse me for a second? I need to make a phone call.”

(He steps outside the store and begins a seemingly normal call. It soon, however, gets increasingly loud as the man tears into the poor soul on the other end of the line. After doing this for a few minutes he hangs up and enters the store again, resuming his calm demeanor.)

Customer: “Okay, I’ve now found out what happened. Please accept my apologies for that previous outburst. It seems someone significant at home was in need of a ‘Chimichar’ and a ‘Psyduck’ to complete his own collection, only rather than say searching online for someone willing to trade, he decided it’d be easier just to erase his daddy’s game, start a new one and choose the aforementioned so he could then swap it and the ‘Psyduck’ for his other two spare starters.”

Me: “Well, I’m likewise sorry he ruined all your hard work.”

Customer: “Don’t. It wasn’t your fault after all… actually…” *he pushes the game towards me* “…how much would one of these, plus a slightly used DS go for these days? I have the distinct feeling my son won’t be needing either for a long time.”

 

#4:

(A customer in her sixties comes in to buy a ticket. She’s wearing a sweatshirt that has the Pokémon Magikarp saying, ‘I swear to God, when I evolve, I’m going to kill you all.’)

Me: “Do you like Pokémon?”

Customer: *offended* “Pokémon?! No! Why?”

Me: “Well, that’s a Pokémon on your sweatshirt. It’s an awful one, but it evolves into one that’s totally awesome!”

Customer: “This is a Pokémon? I thought this was a statement about atheism!”

 

Remember to share with your Pokémon Go loving friends, and that we have a large selection of Pokémon themed stories right here!

Like our Pokemon themed roundup? Check out the other site’s Pokemon roundups here!

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