How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 27

(I answer the phone, recognizing the name and number.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is Austin, from Microsoft Computers. How are you today?”

Me: “I’m good. How are you?”

Caller: *very clearly not Austin* “Thank you for asking, ma’am. Do you know what this call is about?”

Me: “Microsoft Windows.”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am, and I have to tell you that your Windows computer has been infected. If you’ve ever been on Google, or checked your email, or gone on Facebook, or the Internet at all, you have downloaded a virus. Do you understand, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Now, if you’ll get on to your Windows computer I can show you how to fix it.”

Me: “Yes, but which one? I have three.”

Caller: “Well, if they all share the same Internet connection, it is all of your Windows computers. I can show you. You must get on right now.”

Me: “But that’s not how it works. If one computer gets infected by something that was downloaded, all of them won’t be infected.”

Caller: “But if you—”

Me: “Furthermore, I know this is a scam.”

Caller: “If you know this is a scam then why are you wasting your f****** time? Okay, bye.” *click*