How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 17

(I work overnights and go to bed shortly after I get home. My family won’t wake me up if people call for me when I’m sleeping and will take messages for me. Lately, someone has been calling several times in the morning asking for me. The callers refuse to leave any information, so they’ve taken a creative route with these people. Also of note, I’m a III (the third) in my family and my dad is Jr., with his deceased father as Sr. Here’s a couple of the ways they have their fun.)

Story #1:

Mom: *answers phone* “Hello?”

Caller: “I need to speak to [My Name]. It’s an important matter.”

Mom: “Which one?”

Caller: *repeats my name*

Mom: “I know that, but which one? There’s more than one.”

Caller: “Senior.”

Mom: “He’s dead.”

Caller: *probably checking notes at this point* “The Third.”

Mom: “He’s a day sleeper. Would you like to leave a message?”

Caller: “He’ll want to take this call. Put him on the phone.”

Mom: “Who is this?”

Caller: “I need to speak to [My Name].”

Mom: “I heard you. Who is this?”

Caller: “Who am I speaking to right now!?”

Mom: “[Mom]. ”

Caller: “What are you, his wife, mother, sister, daughter, cousin, niece?”

Mom: “I told you what you wanted to know. Now it’s your turn to share.”

Caller: “I don’t think I need to speak to you anymore.” *click*

Story #2

Sister: “Who is this?”

Caller: “We’re representing [Law Office] and have issued a lawsuit against [My Name].”

Sister: “When did you file it?”

Caller: “Last week.”

Sister: “Then why the **** are you calling now if it’s already been filed?”

Caller: “We need to urgently speak to him.”

Sister: “Answer my d*** question.”

Caller: “This is a personal matter between [My Name] and this office.”

Sister: “Give me your home number so he can call you when it’s convenient for him.”

Caller: “My home number?”

Sister: “Unless you’re going to be in your office at one am!”

Caller: *click*

(Seeing as how I haven’t received anything regarding a lawsuit yet and it’s been a few weeks since they started calling, we’re pretty sure it’s just a scam.)