How To Run An Idiot Survey

(I work at one of the largest real estate and property management firms in the world as a help desk analyst. Now and then IT security will send out a fake phishing email to test users and to educate them on phishing messages. These usually have some enticing message with a link that leads to a video that educates the users on phishing, including why they should NOT have clicked on the link. This morning, they apparently felt like we weren’t getting enough calls and sent out one of their messages. This one said that management wanted to have the employees take a survey to make sure they are meeting the needs of the employees (that should have been the first clue). After taking the survey the employee might get a gift card (yay, another clue!). Throughout the morning the calls were all very straightforward, and then this call happens.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the service desk. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I received an email about an employee survey, but when I clicked the link it just gave me a video. There was no survey! Can you help?”

Me: “The email that you received was a test and educational message that was sent out from INFOSEC. The video just goes over the dangers of clicking links in emails from unknown senders, especially those that promise things like gift cards.”  *thinking she is afraid there might be a virus or something* “There is no danger to your computer and we don’t need to run any virus scan. Everything is okay.”

Caller: “I watched the video, but it never gave me the survey! I think there is something wrong with the survey.”

Me: “Ma’am, the video is all there is. It’s just to educate you about phishing. It even explained in the video why the email you received should have been deleted.”

Caller: “So you mean there is no employee survey?”

Me: “No… There is no survey. Just the video telling you that you did bad by clicking on the link. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “No, but I still want the survey.”

Me: “Thank you for calling.”

(Some people simply cannot be helped.)