How To Rattle A Snake

(A kid in my class likes to mess with me. Most of the time, I ignore him. One day, enough is enough. He likes to call me “snake,” but it’s not my real name. It’s just what he likes to tease me with.)

Boy: “Hey. Pssst. Snake!”

(I ignore him, as I am currently working on a difficult assignment.)

Boy: “Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake.”

(He shakes the back of my chair and I continue to ignore him.)

Boy: “Snakesnakesnakesnakesnake” *shakes chair more*

Me: “What do you want?”

Boy: “Snakesnakesnakesnakesnake—”

(I wordlessly reach back with my notebook, slap him in the face and carry on with my work as if nothing happened. The boy opens mouth in shock, stops hassling me. There was no more chair shaking after that!)