How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2

(The following written exchange takes place in a log book where users report problems with computers.)

User: “The mouse pointer on computer five doesn’t work. Please fix it.”

Me: “Hello [user]. I was unable to reproduce the problem. The mouse on computer five is working fine.”

User: “Are you insane? The pointer hardly budges when you move the mouse. Fix it, nerd.”

Me: “Sorry but I’m still unable to find any problems with the mouse on PC 5. I cleaned it as a precaution.”

User: “This is stupid. That mouse still doesn’t work! I’ve come here three times and I can’t use the stupid computer. I can’t believe they pay idiots like you to work here. Get a new mouse!”

Me: “Hi. I still can’t find any problems, but I replaced the mouse on computer 5 just for you. Try it now.”

User: “It’s still not working, but forget it. I’m meeting a professor here tomorrow to look at the mouse. I want him to read this and see what kind of idiot is working here.”

Professor: “The problem with Computer 5 is resolved. The user was picking up the mouse and aiming it at the screen. I showed him how to use the mouse pad. Keep up the good work!”