How To Loser An Employee

(I’m working as one of three cashiers for a buffet restaurant. None of us are allowed to leave the registers, even when it’s pretty dead. A manager stops by.)

Manager: “What are you losers just standing around for?”

Coworker #1: “Well, we aren’t allowed to leave the registers.”

Manager: “What, you don’t think I know that?! I’m the manager. You are the losers who work here. I mean, why would anyone WANT to work here unless they were too much of a LOSER to get hired somewhere else?”

Coworker #2: “Actually, all of us have second jobs.”

Manager: “EVERYONE WHO WORKS HERE IS A LOSER!” *stomps off*

Me: “Wait, so… he works here.”

(Two days later, I decide to quit. I go in to pick up my paycheck from the same manager, drop my uniform on the desk and start to leave.)

Manager: “Wait! You can’t quit. I put you on the schedule for this week! You have to let me know in advance if you’re quitting!”

Me: “Sorry, I thought only losers worked here, so guess I can’t!”