How To Instill Hatred For Fish In Young Children

(My sister is nine and I am six at the time of this story. Our dad takes us to an outdoor fish market and buys us some oysters, which we’ve never had before.)

Dad: “Now, girls, you will eat this. There is no dinner! So you must eat!”

Sister: *eyes them* “I don’t know about this.”

Dad: “Just put some ketchup on them. It’ll taste better. See, like this?”

(Dad puts ketchup on one and swallows it, making a face.)

Dad: “But you must swallow it whole! I don’t want anyone choking!”

(They look weird to me, too, and we refuse.)

Dad: “Do it! I bought them for you. I’ll never buy food for you if you refuse it! If you don’t, I’ll take you home and spank you!”

(I know that Dad is strict enough to mean it, so I hesitantly take one. My sister does, too, after some time. We glance at each other, and I throw it back into my throat and swallow like I saw him do it. It gets stuck.)

Dad: “Swallow! Swallow! Swallow! No choking allowed!”

(After some swallowing it finally goes down. My sister turns green and spits her into a trashcan nearby.)

Sister: “I’m not eating that; it tasted disgusting.”

Dad: “Fine, I’ll eat it. No food for you. Brat.”

(He did buy a big fish for dinner, though… after making us kiss it. Yeah, my Dad was and still is super weird.)