How To Identify The Idiot
(I work at the call centre of a theater.)
Me: “Good morning. You are calling [Theater Name].”
Caller: “I got an email telling me that I’ve been charged for tickets that I didn’t buy! I want a refund! This is fraud! Someone did ‘identity theft’ to me!”
Me: “All right. Let me just see in the account. Can you tell me the email address?”
Caller: “It’s [email address].”
Me: “Okay. I do see that a purchase matches this email address. Are you Marc?”
Caller: “No! I want my money back. This is fraud!”
Me: “However, this seems to be the email of a garage. Do you own a garage? Maybe one of the employees is named Marc and could have used this email address when he made the purchase?”
Caller: “No this is fraud! I don’t have employees!”
Me: “Okay, maybe it’s one of your friends? Do you maybe know a ‘Marc’ living in Laval?”
Caller: “That’s the guy that stole my identity? Do you have his address? Give me his address! I’m gonna go f*** him up!”
Me: “I can’t do that sir. Even if you don’t know the person who made the purchase, sometimes people make mistakes while entering their email address when they make a purchase online. It happens all the time. Now I can verify that you have actually been charged—”
Caller: “This is bulls***! My identity was stolen. This is fraud! FRAUD! I’m calling the cops!”
(He hangs up. Twenty minutes later we get another call.)
Police: “Hi. This is [Name] from the police department. I’m here with a man that says he was victim of identity theft and fraud from your company?”
Me: “Actually, he got an email confirmation of a purchase made under someone else’s name. He hung up before I could verify if his credit card was actually charged.”
Police: “All right. Could you check this with him right now?”
Me: “Sure. Can I speak with him?”
Caller: “Yeah?”
Me: “Like I tried to tell you before you hung up, sir, I can verify if your credit card was actually charged. Could you give me your card number, please?”
Caller: “I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD!”
Me: “…”
Police: “I’ll take it from here. Thank you.” *click*
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.