How To Give Someone A God Complex

| Right | February 27, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. [My Name] speaking. Can I have your full name, please?”

Customer: “[Customer].”

Me: “Thank you. How can I be of assistance to you today?”

Customer: “I need you to take of the late fees and overdraft fees off of my account! RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Well, I’ll be glad to take a look into your account and review the probability of removing the fees but I’m going to need to review it thoroughly, okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

(After a good minute of pause…)

Me: “I’m sorry Ms. [Customer], but it seems that the charges are all valid; I won’t be able to remove them this time.”

Customer: “You f****** b****! You had me waiting for 15 long minutes while you were doing your s*** on your computer and now you’re telling me you cannot take these f***** fees off?!”

(I have her account pulled up and it didn’t take me 15 minutes to see the late and overdraft fees on her account.)

Me: “I’m sorry this upsets you, ma’am, and as much as I would like to remove these fees for you, I won’t have the capability because our system recognizes valid charges and won’t let us modify it.”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care! Remove them or I will call the police!”

Me: “What can the police do?”

Customer: “You people are stealing my money! I will sue you and your company for this, lady!”

Me: “I understand your frustration, but we have sent you multiple notices reminding you of your payment and we haven’t received any amount for the past five months. The late fess piled up, over-drafting your account. I really do apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that s***! I f****** want you to f****** remove these fees off of my account! Don’t be stupid! I know you can do it! You just don’t want to, because you are too lazy to do it!”

Me: “Ms. [Customer], please avoid using profanity. This is a professional institution and we don’t tolerate such language. If it happens again, I will have to disconnect the call.”

Customer: “F*** you, you f****** b****! Give me your f***** supervisor! Wait, no. I want someone higher that your supervisor: your manager, or your CEO! No, I want the president of your company, or the higher person above your president!”

(After multiple attempts to calm the customer down and my warnings for her vulgar language, I am kind of ticked off already.)

Me: “Ma’am, I definitely can hand you over to my supervisor—”

Customer: “Didn’t you f****** hear me, you s***?! I want the person higher than the president of your company!”

Me: “I believe that wouldn’t be possible; there is no one higher than the president of this company. He owns the business.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you! Hand me over to someone higher than him!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want someone higher than the person who owns this company, then PRAY. Talk to God. He is the highest being you could talk to. You can also ask for forgiveness for that bad language and have Him bless you more for you to have the money to pay for your dues. And since you didn’t listen when I asked you to stay professional, I will now disconnect this call. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for calling [Bank]. Good bye.” *click*

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