How To Get Bad Customers Off Your Chest
A customer storms up to my register and tosses a box on it.
Customer: “I want a refund. Right now.”
Me: “Do you have the receipt?”
Customer: “No. Just take it back.”
I explain calmly that without proof of purchase, I can’t process a return. He gets louder, angrier, and starts leaning over the counter.
Customer: “Get me someone who knows what they’re doing. A manager!”
I page the manager, and he shows up pretty quickly.
Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”
Customer: “I want a refund, and your employee won’t give it to me!”
Manager: “Do you have the receipt?”
Customer: “No!”
Manager: “Then I can’t issue a refund.”
The customer explodes.
Customer: “You’re all f****** useless! Just give me my money!”
The manager’s face tenses. His shoulders tighten. And then, he starts slapping himself on the chest, rhythmic and sharp.
The customer recoils.
Customer: “What the h*** are you doing?!”
Manager speaks evenly, still tapping his sternum.
Manager: “Sir, I have Tourette’s. When I’m stressed, I slap myself on the chest.”
Customer: “What, are you r*****ed or something? I want a non-r*****ed manager to do my refund.”
The manager slowly stops slapping and looks the man dead in the eyes.
Manager: “I slap myself because the only other alternative… is slapping the source of the stress.”
He doesn’t blink.
The customer takes a step back.
Customer: “This whole place is full of f****** r*****s!”
He grabs the box off the counter and storms out the door.
