How To Fire Your Babysitter

(Back when I was younger, my sister babysat my little brother and me. On one occasion, she decided to sit in her room.)

Me: “Hey, [sister], can we have food?”

Sister: “Sure.”

Me: “Can you make it?”

Sister: “I don’t feel like it. Just get something that you can make.”

(I agree and decide to make ravioli. I put it in a pot, but realize I can’t use the stove. I get a paper towel and stick it in the microwave. After a short time, the paper towel catches on fire. I run to my sister.)

Me: “Hey, there’s a fire in the microwave.”

Sister: *thinking I’m trying to fool her* “Yeah, right. Just leave me alone, okay?”

(I then stand in the hall and start yelling her nickname that she hates until she chases after me. I lead her to the kitchen, where she sees smoke coming out of the microwave.)

Sister: *as she’s putting it out* “Why would you put a pot in the microwave!?”

Me: “Because I can’t use the stove!”

Sister: “If you tell mom or dad, you’re dead, okay?”

Me: “Okay.”

(I told mom and dad because she only said “OR”, not “AND”.)