Bordering On Offensive

(I’m going on a trip to Mexico with Friend #1, Friend #1’s parents, and Friend #2. My friends and I are teenagers and Friend #2 is a Canadian citizen. The rest of us are US citizens. All of us are super white. On our way down to the border, we hit a checkpoint in the road. The patrol man asks us standard questions. It’s all fine until…)

Border Patrol: “Now, is everyone here an American citizen?”

Dad: “Well… no.”

Border Patrol: *confused* “No?”

Dad: “[Friend #2] back there is Canadian. We have our passports. Would you like to see?”

Border Patrol: “Canadian?”

Dad: “Yes, we’ve got a Canadian citizen in the back seat. The rest of us are American. Would you like to see our passports?”

Border Patrol: *looking from Dad to [Friend #2] like we’re trying to pull a fast one* “Oh… no… that’ll be fine. Enjoy your visit, folks.”

(He walks away and Dad begins to roll up the window. He doesn’t quite make it before Friend #1 yells out:)

Friend #1: “What do you MEAN ‘we’re at the wrong border’?!”

(Pro-tip: Border patrol has absolutely no sense of humor.)