How To Count Yourself Out

I’m lining up outside a popular bar/club one Friday night with my friends. One of the guys in the group in front of us seems to be getting into a rumble with the bouncers.

Bouncer: “Listen, bud, I’m gonna count to five—”

He couldn’t finish the thought because the guy instantly shouted back:

Guy: “—MAKE IT THREE! I AIN’T GOT ALL NIGHT!”

The bouncer froze, as did everyone else in line. A second later, the bouncer started laughing.

Bouncer: “I like that. I like you. You’re still not getting in, but I like you. Go have a good night.”

The guy started laughing too, and walked away, hopefully to have a good night. Our group walks up.

Bouncer: “Do you all have IDs? If you don’t, as you just heard, you now only have three seconds to leave the line instead of five!”