How To Be Properly Improper

We have a coworker who is very proper, dresses smart every day (even though we’re a call centre and not expected to), and never swears or speaks, as he puts it, “in vulgarities”.

I overhear him on the phone with what sounds like a difficult customer.

Coworker: “I am sorry that you’re not satisfied, sir, but unfortunately—”

Pause.

Coworker: “I am not confident that being instructed to fornicate with oneself is part of the job requirement, but I shall give it a jolly good go if it makes you feel better—oh, he hung up.”