How To Be A Stain In The Neck

(I always go to one particular local dry cleaner, because it’s run by an older lady with an amazing personality, and I often get into hilarious conversations with her when I drop off clothes. This is a story she relates to me about some of her other customers.)

Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, hello. How do I get this stain out of my shirt?”

Cleaner: “Well, if you bring the shirt in, I would be happy to clean it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t need you bring it in; it’s just the one stain, so you can just tell me how to clean it.”

Cleaner: *thinking, “that’s not how a dry cleaner works”* “Okay, I’ll try… What kind of fabric is the shirt?”

Customer: *impatient sigh* “It’s my favorite dress shirt!”

Cleaner: “Uh, okay… What kind of stain is it?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to be the expert, here! Why can’t you tell me anything?!”

Cleaner: “I just need to know—”

Customer: “No! I’m the one asking the questions, here! What is your problem?!”

Cleaner: “The problem is that I just don’t know how you expect me to see your shirt down the phone. Good luck with your stain!”