How To Be A Great(er) Grandmother

, , , , | Related | August 17, 2020

My grandmother has some interesting goals about what she wants to get out of her life. All of these ideas and goals of hers relate to other people in the family. For example, one of her “goals” is to be a great-grandmother. While there are five grandchildren total, I’m the oldest of all of them and the oldest female.

A few years ago, my grandmother had a stroke which completely erased any semblance of a filter that she had previously. After she got home from the hospital, she realized that living alone was not a good move for her, and so she was downsizing as we moved her into an assisted living facility. Because of this, she gave me a bookcase of hers. I asked a friend with a truck to help me move it from her place to mine. She had never met this friend before he came up to help with the bookcase, but things were fine while we were there.

The day after we move the bookcase, I am back up at her place for some cleaning that I have been doing on a regular basis for her ever since she moved to the condo. This conversation takes place while I’m on the bathroom floor cleaning the toilet. I’m twenty-four.

Grandma: “So, did you and your friend get everything moved okay yesterday?”

Me: “Yep. It wasn’t that hard to do. Biggest issue was getting it up the stairs at my complex but we did it.”

Grandma: “Well, that’s good. I thought you weren’t coming up to get it for another few days.”

Me: “We weren’t, but he ended up on our side of the water for something else, and since he already had the truck, he thought it was easier than having to try and get back over here again.”

Grandma: “Oh, okay.”

She goes silent for a moment, but I can see her out of the corner of my eye. She’s practically vibrating as she stands in the doorway.

Grandma: “So… what’s going on with you and [Friend]?”

Me: *Side-eyes her* “Nothing. Why?”

Grandma: “Well, he’s nice and cute.”

Me: “Your point?”

Grandma: “I want great-grandchildren.”

Me: “Okay, and your point?”

Grandma: “Well, what’s going on between you two?”

Me: “We’re just friends.”

Grandma: “But I want great-grandchildren.”

Me: “You have four other grandchildren!”

Grandma: “They’re not old enough to have kids!”

Me: “[Brother #1] is twenty-one and [Brother #2] is eighteen.”

Grandma: “Your brothers are both in school. And [Cousin #1] and [Cousin #2] aren’t old enough.”

Me: “Technically, they are; I mean it would definitely involve some pretty big life choices but technically…”

[Cousin #1] is fifteen and [Cousin #2] is thirteen. Grandma gets big eyes and looks at me in horror.

Grandma: “But they’re not old enough.”

I roll my eyes and sigh.

Me: “[Friend] and I are just friends. Sorry.”

Grandma: “Well, I want great-grandchildren.”

She finally walked away and let me clean the bathroom in peace. While I was glad that she hadn’t said anything in front of my friend, I was still annoyed and complained to my mom, who backed me 100% and told my grandmother to knock it off.

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