How Telemarketers Win The War Against You

(I work at a call center doing business to business market research surveys. I’ve been doing one about contact lenses. We are trained to be vague, initially, until we can find the person we are looking for who can do the survey, as gatekeepers often block us and respondents tend to come up with excuses. Some people are cross, some people take it in stride.)

Me: *following script* “Hi. I’m calling about contact lenses. Do you fit contact lenses at this location?”

Person On Phone: “Yes, we do.”

Me: *skipping a part of the intro* “Is the contact lens fitter available for two quick questions?”

Person On Phone: “That is me.”

Me: *launches into full intro* “Hi. I’m calling from [Market Research Company] for a quick two question survey. Can you help me out with this today?”

Person On Phone: “AHHHHH! You got me! I thought you were a customer. Oh well, might as well. D*** you.”

Me: *holding back laughter* “Thank you very much, sir.”