How Modern Relationships Are Like(d)

(I’ve been casually seeing this guy for about six months, and while everyone around us considers us in a relationship, he doesn’t want to put a title on us. I often joke with him that as soon as he calls me his girlfriend, I’m making it Facebook official. We are in love, but he rarely says it. For a combination Valentine’s Day and birthday gift, I am buying him an [Expensive New Phone] which he has been drooling over for a couple of months.)

Guy: “I freaking love you. Like, seriously, I mean that. I love you.”

Me: *grinning* “So that’s all it took for you to tell me you love, me sans alcohol?”

Guy: “No! Yes… I guess I should change our Facebook status now.”

Me: “Are you… did you… OH, MY GOD!”

Guy: *sighs* “Yes. You bought me a $500 phone, so I suppose I can call you my girlfriend now.”

(We changed our status that night.)