How Many Bald Eagles Per Freedom Credit?

Some guy starts to use our street-side ATM, but quickly looks annoyed and storms inside. He interrupts me as I’m helping a customer.

Guy: “That thing only comes in English and French!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Guy: “I don’t want ‘English’! I want ‘American’!”

Customer: “I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for English, sir. They used to have American, but the ATM kept getting clogged when it had to dispense all the freedom credits.”

Guy: “Is that a joke?!”

Customer: “Sir, I assure you that I take the dispensing of freedom credits very seriously. Without them, how could you be expected to keep reminding us how much freedom you have?”

I jump in here and reassure the guy that if he understands ‘English’ then he’ll get by, which he begrudgingly accepts, but not before glaring at my customer one more time before storming out.

Customer: “Sorry, but that was so ridiculous I couldn’t help myself. I’ve never met a cartoon character in real life before…”