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How Do You Say “I Don’t Speak French” In German?

| Learning | February 4, 2017

(I have just started year nine of high school, prior to which we all chose what subjects we wanted to take for the last three years. I select German as my language, but somehow end up in the class with the French teacher I was trying to avoid. She is extremely stern and well known for refusing to listen to students. It should also be noted I’m well known for being impertinent and having a short temper.)

Teacher: *starts waffling about French class*

Me: *raising hand* “Um, excuse me, miss, I th—“

Teacher: *cutting me off* “No! You will not speak until I call on you!”

Me: “Okay, but—“

Teacher: *cutting me off again* “—be silent!”

(At this point I realise she isn’t going to listen so I shrug, put my hand down, and wait. Everyone else is taking notes or has their French books out; I don’t because obviously my book is German. After thirty minutes she finally stops speaking and asks if we have any questions, so I raise my hand.)

Teacher: “What is it now?!”

Me: “Miss, I was trying to tell you my timetable put me in the wrong class, I’m meant to be in German not French.”

Teacher: “Why didn’t you say so?!”

Me: “I tried; you cut me off and told me to be silent.”

(The class giggles.)

Teacher: “You shouldn’t be here!”

Me: “I know. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

(She got very flustered, found out where I was supposed to go, and sent me on my way, though by now there were only 15 minutes left of my German class. I spent all of it regaling the group about my wasted period, and my German teacher was a very lovely woman who thought it was hilarious.)

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