How Do You Like Dem Apple Pies?

(I work at a very popular fast food chain. This happens around 10:30 pm. I am working the drive-thru window.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]! How may I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to order two apple pies, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only have one apple pie left for the night. Is there anything else you would like along with that pie?”

Customer: “How much is one pie?”

Me: “Eighty-nine cents.”

Customer: “Aren’t they two for a dollar?”

Me: “It’s $1.19, actually. Plus tax, it’s $1.27.”

Customer: “You can just sell me that pie for fifty cents then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not allowed to do that.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not my d*** fault you idiots don’t have stuff prepared for customers like you should, so I should get the pie for half the price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry, but I cannot give-”

Customer: “Stop talking and listen! I’m offering to pay for the d*** thing, so you’re not GIVING me anything!”

(By this time, I’m fed up and I decide to tell my manager about it. While I am explaining what is happening to my manager, the woman is still cussing into my headset. My manager has on a headset as well, so she hears the whole thing. Right as she is about to intervene, the woman blows up completely.)

Customer: “You know what? F*** this s***! F*** this company and f*** you! I will file a complaint on your a** and have you fired, you stupid f****** b****!”

Me: *turns headset back on* “Oh, please do, ma’am. You’ll be doing me the biggest favor.”

(The woman drove off, but she never filed a complaint and I still have my job. I always make sure we have a few apple pies left over towards the night in case I ever have to encounter someone as stupid as her again.)