How Do You Feel After The Fact?

(The library in the philosophy building is quite small. A lot of grad students and professors use it to eat lunch, talk, and of course, work. There is one undergrad student who often sits in the library with us and is known for his tendency to distract people. At this time everyone in the library is working quietly.)

Undergrad: “[My Name], do you have anything interesting to talk about?”

Me: “No.”

Undergrad: “Really? Nothing?”

Me: “My life is not interesting.”

Undergrad: “No fun facts?”

Me: “Fine. Fun fact: John Wayne received coffee enemas in attempt to cure his cancer.”

Professor: “STOP ASKING HER QUESTIONS! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!”

(To this day I can’t remember where I heard that or if it’s actually a fact, but I just intended to say something that would shut him up so we could all work.)