How Dare Thermodynamics Happen!

(I work as a barista in a popular coffee shop with multiple locations in the city. During a quiet time of day, a woman peers at the menu for a moment and then approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hi there! What I can I get started for you today?”

Customer: *just stares at me*

Me: “Would you like a minute to decide?”

Customer: “Oh! You’re not the girl who served me last night!”

Me: “Well, if it was after a certain time, then no, as my shift was done in the afternoon.”

(I am thinking that even if I did serve her yesterday, am I supposed to be telepathic and automatically know what she wants today?)

Customer: “Well, the barista in last night didn’t know what she was doing and made my drink taste awful! I’d like to make a complaint about her!”

Me: “Okay, I can be sure to let someone know.” *grabbing the schedule from the night before next to the register* “Can you describe her to me, please?”

Customer: “Well, she’s a blonde girl. She looks like you, but blonder.”

(I’m a black-haired girl, nowhere near blonde, and actually we have no blonde females working at our location.)

Me: “Um, well, according to our schedule, we actually had a team of males in last night. No ladies. Are you sure you weren’t at [Other Location Nearby], instead?”

Customer: “No, it was here. I remember.”

Me: “Well, all I can say is that we have a guarantee that if you take a sip and you don’t like your drink, bring it to the counter and we’ll either remake it for you or make you something different. At this point, I can let our manager know you were not happy with the drink, and we’ll let our baristas know that they should be more diligent with the recipes. Does that sound fine to you?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds good. Now, can I get [four of our biggest, most expensive drinks]?”

Me: “Sure!” *rings her up*

Customer: “Wait, you’re charging me for my drinks? They should be free! My coffee last night was awful and it was your fault!”

Me: *inwardly sighing* “I’m sorry, but if you didn’t make a complaint at the time you received the coffee, then how are we to know you were dissatisfied with your drink? We can’t refund you or remake a drink you consumed almost twenty-four hours ago.”

Customer: “But it was too hot to drink right away, so I drove home with it! By the time I got home, the store was closed and I couldn’t call to make a complaint!”

Me: “Fair enough. Do you have a receipt for your drink, or perhaps the empty cup? Something to show proof of purchase?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t get a receipt, and the coffee was ice cold when I got in so I just chucked the entire thing in the garbage.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Ma’am, maybe the coffee was bad because you allowed it to get cold before drinking it? Either way, I’m afraid your coffee today cannot be on the house as we have no proof you actually bought anything from us in the first place, and if you did, we could only comp the same drink order, not all four. Now, if you would like your drinks, it will cost you [full amount]!”

Customer: “You’re just trying to screw me over! I’m never coming back here!” *stomps off*

Me: “We can only hope…”