How About A Chia Pet Instead

(I walk up to a customer and her family holding one of our pet store rabbits.)

Me: “So, are you ready to buy that rabbit?”

Customer: “Yeah, I think I’m going to. What do rabbits need?”

Me: “Well, the first thing a rabbit needs is a good home. We have a nice selection of cages to start.”

Customer: “I think I’ll just put it in with my guinea pig.”

Me: “Well, that really isn’t a good idea. They should really have separate cages.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll put the guinea pig somewhere else. What else do rabbits need?”

Me: “Vitamins are good for rabbits, especially younger bunnies who are making their first move–”

Customer: “Can’t I use ferret vitamins?”

Me: “Well, no, because rabbits are herbivores and ferrets are carnivores. They have different nutritional needs.”

Customer: *to husband* “I don’t need any vitamins!”

Customer’s Husband: “Well, what about food?”

Me: “We have a large assortment of rabbit food. The more colorful ones that contain dried fruits and vegetables are really going to help your rabbit, especially if you don’t plan on feeding it fresh fruits and vegetables.”

Customer: “Can’t I just feed it cat food?”

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