Horizontal Distance, Loopy Thinking

Me: “Good evening, thanks for calling [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to make a reservation. I’m with the [Name] wedding party.”

(I take down his information for dates he’ll be staying and size of beds. Then, we get to the type of room…)

Me: “And would you like a standard room, or would you prefer poolside, or could I interest you in a suite or other luxury room?”

Customer: “I want a standard room. It needs to be near an elevator, because my wife has back problems.”

Me: “We also have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside, which would be much less walking.”

Customer: “No. I want it near an elevator.”

Me: “Sir–”

Customer: “It’s about the horizontal distance.”

Me: “Sir, there is no parking near the elevators, and it would be farther for her to walk to the elevator.”

Customer: “She can take elevators. It’s about the horizontal distance.”

Me: “Yes, sir. I understand, but we have rooms on the ground floor with parking directly outside. It would be much closer than if you had to park and then take the elevator.”

Customer: “I want to be near the elevator!”

(I put him in one of the standard ground floor rooms anyway with adjacent parking, for the sake of his wife.)