CATEGORY: Hopeless

Having A Better Hair-Day

, , , , | Hopeless | March 15, 2016

(My family is in our car getting ready to leave. As a side note, my mom has been having a very bad day and is close to tears. Random woman approaches the car and taps on the glass.)

Mom: “Yes, is there anything you need?”

Random Woman: “Oh, no, I just noticed that you had a really nice hair style and you looked like you needed to hear something good.”

Mom: “Thank you! That really made my day.”

(The random woman just smiled and walked away. It was true, though. For the rest of the day my mom was smiling. It just goes to show that odd, yet thoughtful behaviour can really change a person’s day.)

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So Much Pun

, , , , , | Hopeless | March 14, 2016

(I’m zoning the laundry aisle at a popular retail store. An elderly couple walks down the aisle. The husband makes a pun of every name brand he walks by.)

Customer: “CHEER up, dear. We’re in a new ERA now. We’re ALL together, and have everything to GAIN. So SNUGGLE up, but be careful. There’s a TIDE coming in, so SURF’s up!”

(Best. Old dude. Ever.)


This story is part of our Puns Roundup!

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A Tale Of Two Sitters

, , , , , , | Hopeless | March 14, 2016

(I’m on the Metro (subway) during rush hour. Arriving at a station, I see a little girl with a bandaged leg and a crutch getting in the car with her mother. Since there are no seats available, she stays up. A few seconds later, a young man dressed like a thug on a seat behind them calls to the mother.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, take my seat for your child.”

Mother: “Oh, thank you.”

(As soon as the young man gets up, however, a middle-aged lady in a business suit jumps into his seat without saying a word.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, I gave my seat to the little girl, not to you.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “You should’ve said so.”

Young Man: “You were right in front of me and clearly heard me. Besides, it’s obvious this girl needs a seat more than you.”

Middle-Aged Lady: *angrily* “What’s your point?!”

Young Man: “My point is that you’re rude and impolite.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! Do you know WHO I am?!”

Young Man: “I think I am someone much more polite and well-educated than you. And as to who you are, I frankly don’t care.”

Middle-Aged Lady: “YOU LITTLE F***! My husband owns [Some Big Company]! I’m infinitely much richer and more powerful than you!”

Young Man: *grinning* “So, powerful and rich you take the metro to go home?”

(Stunned, the middle-aged lady looks like she’s been struck by lightning. She sheepishly leaves the car at the next station. The young man then turns to the girl and her mother, who are literally speechless.)

Young Man: *to the mother* “Sorry for that. There’s your seat!”

(The whole car cheered and applauded him. Whoever you are, Metro gentleman, you have my thumbs-up!)


This story is part of our Subway roundup!

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