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Hopefully, It’s Never Hammer Time

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2022



I work at a local hardware store, and one day, I approach a customer who has been looking at our flashlights for a while.

Me: “You doing all right, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! Actually, no.”

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Do you have one of these called a tire thumper? I need it to use as a club.”

Me: “Uh, I’m not entirely sure. Let me go check real quick.”

I go type it into my computer, thinking she wanted a flashlight brand called a tire thumper or something. Turns out that’s an item used to check the air pressure in a tire. I go back to the customer.

Me: “Was that a brand of flashlight? The only thing I’m finding online is an actual tire thumper, but we don’t carry those. What are you using it for?”

Customer: “I need it to whack my neighbor’s dog when I go on walks.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I’ll go look around a bit.”

Don’t ask me why, but my people-pleaser-self tells the customer that we have some hammer handles down an aisle that looked kind of like a tire thumper. She heads down that aisle and after examining the handles, she picks up a small rubber mallet.

Customer: “This will be perfect! I can put it in my pocket, and it won’t fall out, but I can grab it quickly to hit the dog.”

Me: *Visibly uncomfortable* “Is there a specific reason you’re hitting the dog, ma’am?”

Turns out her neighbor’s dog had been attacking her dog when they went on walks, and she wanted a way to get the dog away quickly. I suggested she call animal control or the police instead, and she said she had never thought of that before, and she would do that next time. She still bought the mallet, and that was definitely the weirdest thing I had helped a customer with.

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Tell us about a customer that lied or scammed to get what they wanted.

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