Hopefully, In Ten Years, Your Brother Will Have Caught Up With The Last Thirty

(My nephew is almost two years old, so my husband asks his brother what kinds of gifts we should get him. We get a standard response, like cars and tools. Since his father is a mechanic, we assume he’s a chip off the old block. However, things turn out to be different when we get there. The boy gets crayons, at which his father scoffs. The boy loves the colors and the crayons and he starts coloring. He picks a pink crayon.)

Brother-In-Law: “No, we don’t use that one.”

(He hands the boy a blue one. It strikes me as odd, but since I’m a guest, I mention nothing. The talk then changes to my pregnant sister-in-law, who recently found out she’ll be having a girl.)

Me: “I wonder if she’ll love cars just as much as her brother or father!”

Brother-In-Law: “Of course not. Why would she even love cars?”

Me: “Well, why wouldn’t she?”

Brother-In-Law: “Because she is a girl! No girl of mine is playing with cars! And no boy of mine is playing with dolls!”

Me: “Oh… okay…”

Brother-In-Law: “Did you know that [Nephew] picked out [Dutch pink cakes] for dessert?! I’m not raising a [homosexual slur]! H*** no. I’d punch that out of him!”

(I see my husband’s eyes grow, but we both remain silent. It’s a kid’s birthday and we don’t know how to act. In the car:)

Me: “My gosh, did you hear what [Brother-In-Law] said?! I’m so worried that if [Nephew] turns out to be gay, he might get kicked out!”

Husband: “Well, if that is the case… then we have to make sure he knows he can stay with his aunt and uncle! Because my brother is just… just… GAH!”

(I’m glad my husband thought the same, and we still don’t know how to deal with this. Luckily the kid is only two years old now.)

This story is part of our Crayon Roundup!

Read the next Crayon Roundup story!

Read the Crayon Roundup!