Hopefully For Him, Her Bark Is Worse Than Her Bite

(My boyfriend and I are having a drink at home. He used to be in the army.)

Boyfriend: “Would you like a refill?”

Me: “I was thinking about it. I’ll go get the Coke.”

Boyfriend: “I’ll get the Coke; you stay there.”

Me: “I really don’t mind getting up.”

Boyfriend: “STAY!”

Me: “You can’t give me a command like that! I’m not a soldier.”

Boyfriend: “That’s not the type of command I’d give a soldier. That’s the type of command I’d give a dog.”