Hope She Wasn’t A Bottle-Fed Baby

(I’m standing in the kitchen with my mom.)

Mom: “Do you think this milk is bad?”

Me: “I don’t know. What’s the expiration date?”

Mom: “Oh, we’re past it. It’s probably bad. Here, take a swig. If you get sick, I’ll know not to use it.”

Me: “You know, when I tell people these stories, they think I’m making it up.”