Honeymoon Staged

| TX, USA | Romantic | February 4, 2017

(I’m not allowed to hang up unless the guest is swearing.)

Me: “Thank you for calling reservations. How may I help you?”

Guest: *low voice* “Yes, I got married today, and I wanted to book a surprise honeymoon. She’s asleep right now so I got to be quiet.”

Me: “Congratulations!”

(I ask for dates and start looking at listings.)

Guest: “Do you have any suites? Something sexy?”

(The guest’s wife wakes up at that moment, and a misunderstanding ensues.)

Guest: “No, I’m booking a room for US! No, I wasn’t calling HER sexy! I mean, YEAH she’s a lady, but I was talking about a ROOM!”

Me: *dying inside* “If you can hear me, ma’am, I can verify that I work for [Hotel] and I’m booking a room for YOUR honeymoon.”

(Things calm down, and I go on booking when…)

Guest: “No, baby, stop that!”

Me: *speechless*

Guest: “Hey, she wants me to ask you if it’s okay to book this while she’s sitting on my lap? She promises to be quiet.”

Me: *laughing helplessly* “If you can keep the same promise, I’m fine.”

(Finishes reservation as fast as possible while his wife tries to distract him.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll get the confirmation number. Anything else I can help you with?”

Guest: “Are you married?”

Me: “No…”

Guest: “You should call me on your break. You’ve been great!”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, I think you’ll be busy.”

Guest: “I’m gonna be honest. She’s across my lap right now—”

Me: “Sir, this call is being recorded, and I REALLY don’t want my boss to hear this, so I’m gonna stop you right there and wish you a happy honeymoon.”

Guest: “All right, but you have my info. We should all…” *groans* “…h-hang out!”

Me: *blushing* “Uh, you should get back to your wife. Good night, sir!”

Guest: *hangs up*

Me: *questions life*

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