Protecting Children From Themselves

(My uncle is a very large, hairy man — picture the stereotypical biker. He has two sons, and the mother had left a long time ago. His oldest has hit middle school, and he starts to act like a little s***. My uncle takes away privileges when the kid acts out. One day he gets called down to the school and is met by Child Protection Services (CPS) and a cop.)

School Official: “[Uncle], your son has said you’ve been beating him, and not letting him have food. Is this true?”

Uncle: “What? No!”

(He looks at his son and sees him smirking. He’s mad at his dad because he took his game system away. The CPS and cop explain how they will need to do an investigation, etc. My uncle looks at his son, looks at himself, and figures, why fight it?)

Uncle: “Take him.”

Everyone: “What!”

Uncle: “If my son really feels abused there is no way a single dad who looks like me can win. Take him.”

(At this point the cop started to smile and gave my uncle a wink. He agreed with my uncle and they took my cousin and placed him with social services for three days. By the end of it my cousin was crying and confessed to the cops he lied because his dad took his gaming system and his friends said he should ‘get back’ at his dad. He returned home and nothing more was said. Cousin straightened up from then on and went on to med school.)