Home Is Where The Heart Is, But Not The Brain

(My parents have just come home from work, and I needed to talk to my mom. I’ve also just gotten back from a 5 day trip with school. My dad walks into the room.)

Me: “Are you home yet?

Dad: *sarcastically* “No, I’m not.”

Me: *realizing what I had just said* “I meant to ask if mom is here!”

Dad: “Haha.”

(Mom walks in.)

Me: *to my mom* “Are you back from work?”

Dad: “Did you seriously just ask that again?”

Me: “I’m tired! Give me a break!”