Holy Guacamole!

| FL, USA | Working | July 17, 2017

Me: “Hi, I would like one turkey and guacamole BLT without the turkey and guacamole, please.”

Employee #1 & Cashier: *gives me a confused look*

Me: *to Cashier* “Just a regular BLT. please.”

Employee #2: “Wait. You said you didn’t want the guacamole, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee #2: “Oh, man, that’s awesome!” *does a little victory dance*

Me: “Why?”

Employee #2: “The guacamole is the hardest part!”

(The rest of the transaction is normal.)

1 Thumbs
  • Frédéric Purenne

    If it’s the hardest part, your avocados aren’t ripe.

  • Rebecca Gibson

    Wh…why on earth would you do that?

    • Paul Nieuwkamp

      Maybe to mess with them, but it’s also possible the shop doesn’t have “regular” BLT on the menu.

      • Gnomer Denois

        That was my thought. So many places seem to want to have a the flashy fancy options which makes it awkward when you just want something plain.

    • BarlowGirl

      They also might have a sale on the turkey blt that makes it cheaper.

  • Are we supposed to congratulate you for messing with the employees? I’d be confused by that order as well. At least you got a chuckle? Eh, on to the next story.

  • Bernie Hunter

    Congrats OP on being a jerk.
    You know there are stories from employees who write about customers ordering a sandwich, but leave off “this and that”. The employee explains it is just a simple X sandwich. We realize these customers are idiots and jerks. So OP, you are the jerk here.

    • Azalea

      I’m guessing they don’t have a regular BLT on the menu. It doesn’t make them a jerk if they’ve ordered a BLT before and have been told “we don’t have that” so now they decided to skip that step.

  • AJM

    Sounds like the restaurant does not list a traditional BLT (Bacon Lettuce Tomato) on the menu so the OP orders the BLT on the menu (BLT with Turkey & Guac) minus the extra ingredients.

  • Mechwarrior

    What the heck is hard about guacamole?

    • Donnell Hanog

      The avocados, if they’re not ripe and it’s made in-house.

      • Mechwarrior

        Even if it’s made in-house, shouldn’t it already be made and ready to spread on the sandwich? Even the places I go that make their guacamole in-house just make up a few tubs before hand so that it can easily be scooped out and placed on an order.

        • Donnell Hanog

          That was half-sarcastic, half joking.

    • Erin Elizabeth

      I personally think guacamole looks like baby poo. I literally won’t eat a sandwich if there’s guacamole on it

      • Clay

        Well… congratulations on denying yourself a delicious food for a dumb reason?

        • Donnell Hanog

          I didn’t like guacamole, either, until a few years ago. Something about the texture and the flavor just didn’t sit right with me. Basically the same reason I used to hate tomatoes.

          • Rattus

            I didn’t used to like avocados until I got a meal that incorporated guac, and now I’m a fan of the annoyingly short-lived vegetable.

          • Donnell Hanog

            I generally solve that problem by purposely buying them unripe, then ripening them in a sealed plastic bag a few at a time. I can get them to last about a week to a week and a half that way (by which point I’ve usually eaten them all.).

  • Kitty

    What’s the hard part about the guacamole? I made some just a few days ago, it was fine. It’s not difficult to make. Unless she means placing the guacamole on the sandwich, which makes me wonder how it’s put on that makes it so difficult.

    • Anne

      I was wondering the same thing. If this is Subway, all they do is scoop the guac out of the tub and put it on. Not exactly rocket surgery…

      • Kitty

        Absolutely! I don’t recall German Subways having guacamole, but they do offer avocado in summer and that’s just something easily spread on.
        PS: I love that you use the term rocket surgery, too!

        • Anne

          That’s pretty much what Subway guacamole is, smashed avocado, maybe with some mild spices. I don’t remember it having actual tomato or onion like a proper guacamole.

    • Lord Circe

      My thought was that they have squeeze bottles that they have to use, and the guac’s cap is a bit too small to for easily.

  • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln

    To all the people saying they might not have a regular BLT, this is Subway. All you have to do is ask for a BLT.

    • Katrin Schirmer

      how do you know its Subway? where does it say that?

      • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln

        because a friend of mine get this all the time from subway. I prefer the chicken teriyaki

        • Donnell Hanog

          And turkey guac BLTs are exclusive to one chain of restaurant, right? Nobody else in the world makes them, right?

          • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln


          • Donnell Hanog

            That was sarcasm, mate. Subway is most assuredly NOT the only place that has thought to add turkey and guacamole to a BLT, nor do they have a copyright on such a sandwich. Heck, IIRC, the Panera near my work has one on the menu. It also pretty much lacks any ‘plain’ options. Even the PBJ is some fancy deal with a ‘twist’ to it, and forget getting a grilled cheese plain without asking for their apple sourdough panini thing without apples.

          • HeadlessGhostOfAbrahamLincoln

            You really don’t have to tell me what sarcasm is. But someone may need to tell you.

    • MariaTeresa

      I tried to get a BLT at a particular Subway and they told me they couldn’t (wouldn’t?) make one. I no longer frequent that particular location. I’ve had no difficulty at other locations. My point is that sometimes you do have to do more than just ask for a BLT.

  • Clay

    If this place is making their guacamole to order, they are doing it wrong.

    And if OP is excluding guacamole from a sandwich, he is doing it wrong.

    • Donnell Hanog

      And if anyone dislikes something you like, they’re doing it wrong, for you are the Grand Arbiter of Flavor, and no one but you may decide a food is not to their taste.

      • Clay


    • Stacie Marie Carrel

      My brain interprets the taste of avocado to be just like banana. So now think of all the things people shove avocado or guacamole into, but substitute that for mashed banana. Bean burrito with banana mash?Turkey sandwich with sliced banana? Cobb salad with sliced banana?Steak taco with banana mash? etc. And that’s why I don’t like avocado anything.
      If I liked banana I could be ok eating straight up avocado slices or guacamole with fried cinnamon dough. I used to like bananas as a kid, but for some reason now I can’t stand them. I have no idea why, but the taste triggers my gag reflex, similar to the reaction most people have to licorice (which I also don’t like, along with rootbeer).

      • Clay

        Sympathies on your broken taste buds.

      • I am Jenn

        How do you feel about Cilantro?

        Also, your comment reminds me of the person who had an allergic reaction to bananas, but “loved how sour they are” a few months ago….don’t know if you were here when that was posted.

        • Stacie Marie Carrel

          Yup, I remember that one. I’m not allergic, just broken tastebuds/brain. Both of my sisters have similar issues. One with celery and mushrooms (they both taste like sandy dirt to her) and cilantro (the infamous soap weirdness), as well as oregano (tastes like mold). My other sister also has issues with cilantro, and turmeric tastes like red clay dirt to her.
          I half-taste soap with cilantro, I taste the herb the way it’s supposed to, but with a lingering soapy aftertaste. That’s mild enough I can ignore it as long as the dish doesn’t have piles of cilantro, a few seasoning leaves mixed in is fine.
          My other weird tastebud screwup is coffee = skunk smell.

          • Ressica

            How do they know those things taste like dirt and mold?

          • Stacie Marie Carrel

            Shortly before fruit and veggies go fuzzy the mold spores that land on them grow and make tunnels under the surface. The fuzz is the mature mold releasing new spores. So there’s a period of time when the food looks fine, maybe just a bit soft, but tastes like mold. I’m surprised you’ve NEVER taken a bite of any fruit or veggie that had progressed to that point.
            As for the dirt, ever been to the beach, sand gets everywhere, including into your mouth. Ever worked outside in your yard/garden? No matter how well you wash your hands, there will still be some dirt stuck under your fingernails for a day or two. Heck even just playing outside as a kid, we dug holes all the time, and weren’t always thorough about washing our hands when we came in for lunch/snack/dinner.

    • Hodge Elmwood

      Guac is gross. ;p

  • Rob Tonka

    Unless this place does not have a plain blt on the menu, this dude just ordered a more expensive sandwich and told them to hold the very things that make it more expensive.

    Wow, isn’t he clever.

    • S123

      I’d assume that OP would have ordered a regular BLT if it was on the menu.

      • Rob Tonka

        Unless they thought doing it this way was funny/clever, cause that is how I initially interpreted the scene: a weak attempt at humor that just confused the situaion

        • S123

          Could be. I guess you could read it either way.

  • Phil Adler

    Sounds like the equivalent of holding the shredded lettuce on a Big Mac. That sh*t makes it a rather messy sandwich to make.

  • Sarah Menace

    At the gay bar I go to a bacon lettuce and tomato with guac is called the LGBT.

  • TheBigBadWolf

    Why the cunt did you not ask for a regular BLT in the first place? If it’s because they don’t have a regular BLT….what the cunt?

  • RhovanionGirl

    Why the heck wouldn’t you just ask for a BLT? I’m so confused by this “story”